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John was sitting on his laptop bored when suddenly a notice popped up saying he was in a group chat.

‘Hello John – SH’

‘What do you want Sherlock you’re in the other room?! – JW’

‘Bored – SH’

‘……. – JW’

‘Why am I here? – GL’

‘Lestrade? – JW’

‘Yes? – GL’

‘Who hacked my laptop? – MH’

‘I did – SH’

‘Sherlock! – MH’

‘Mycroft! – SH’

‘Sherlock! – JW’

‘John! – SH’

‘Greg! – GL’

‘………. – SH’

‘What no one was saying my name? – GL’

‘Why am I here?! – MH’

‘Bored – SH’

‘Hey guys – MH’

‘Who the hell are you?! – MH’

‘Molly – MH’

‘Lol – GL’

‘This is going to get confusing – JW’

‘Why? – MH’

‘Who was that? – SH’

‘Mycroft – MH’

‘Ok Molly just put Molly at the end and Mycroft put Mycroft – JW’

‘Why should I listen to you? – Mycroft’

‘You just did – JW’

‘Damit – Mycroft’

‘Where is Crystal she should be online? – SH’

‘John why am I in a chatroom? – MW’

‘Hi Mary – Molly’

‘Sherlock you invited my wife? – JW’

‘Bored – SH’

‘That excuse won’t last forever – Mycroft’

‘What kind of user name is Mycroft? – MW’

‘That’s his name don’t piss him off he could have you killed – JW’

‘…….. – Mycroft’

‘Hehe sorry – MW’

‘Don’t have her assassinated – JW’

‘I’m tempted – Mycroft’

‘Ok so other than Sherlock being bored why am I here? – GL’

‘No idea – JW’

‘I like it here – Molly’

‘Miss me? – CH’

‘Ah Crystal there you are – SH’

‘I’m not Crystal dumbass – CH’

‘You’re signed in as her – Mycroft’

‘I know I got bored and hacked her laptop – CH’

‘Ok then who are you? – JW’

‘Not telling ^_^ - CH’

‘Hey stop pretending to be me! – AG’

‘Amber? – Mycroft’

‘No! – AG’

‘This just got confusing again – JW’

‘Ok so who are you and why are you on my laptop?! – AG’

‘I’m bored I have no one to kill – CH’

‘What?! Sebastian get off my laptop! – AG’

‘But I’m bored – CH’

‘I do not care Amber is glaring at me and I would like to get onto my own laptop before
she bites my head off! – AG’

‘Fine but can I join the chat? – CH’

‘Who are you? – SH’

‘Sebastian – CH’

‘Ok then – SH’

‘Uggh finally – CH’

‘Sorry – SM’

‘Why am I here? – AG’

‘We’ve all been asking that question – Mycroft’

‘Mycroft I know you love yourself but there is no need to spell out your name – CH’

‘He has too because Molly’s initials are also MH so we wouldn’t know the difference- MW’

‘Yes you would Molly isn’t arrogant or a pompous git – CH’

‘Lol – SM’

‘I’m sorry but that’s funny – AG’

‘You’ve turned my girlfriend against me! – Mycroft’

‘I have been known to do that yes – CH’

‘You are a terrible sister – SH’

‘Thank you – CH’

‘That was not a compliment – Mycroft’

‘Well I’ll take it as one – CH’

‘You are a weird child – SH’

‘I was raised by our parents how did you expect me to come out? – CH’

‘Touché – Mycroft’

‘As nice as this is can I go now? – GL’

‘No! – SH’

‘Uggh Sherly why?! – CH’

‘Pfft Sherly – MW’

‘……….. – SH’

‘We have a lot of embarrassing information on Sherlock if you would like us to share? –

‘YES! – JW’

‘Hell yeah! – GL’

‘Yeah go on then – SM’

‘No! – SH’

‘What’s the matter Sherly? – Molly’

‘I’ve heard all this so I’ll just zone out – AG’

‘Please don’t – SH’

‘So you don’t want them to know about the time you kept dressing up as a pirate? – CH’

‘Awww! – MW’

‘Aww Sherlock – JW’

‘How about the time you put on mother’s dress and pretended to be a girl? – Mycroft’

‘ O_O – SH’

‘Wow I did not see that coming – GL’

‘Pfft hahahaha – SM’

‘I hate you all – SH’

‘Nothing to be embarrassed about Sherly – Molly’

‘……….. – SH’

‘Ehh hello? – PA’

‘Oh dear mother of god – CH’

‘Who the hell is that? – SH’

‘The most evil man alive – CH’

‘Well we have to rule out Moriarty – JW’

‘I don’t even know how I got here – PA’

‘No seriously who is that? – SH’

‘Anderson – CH’




‘I didn’t do it – GL’

‘I did – SD’

‘Donovan! – CH’

‘God you two really don’t like the people I work with do you? – GL’

‘No – CH’

‘Nope – SH’

‘They’re stupid and that’s why you need to call Sherlock with cases. You’ve spent so much
time with them they’ve lowered you’re IQ level – CH’

‘Crystal don’t be so rude! – Mycroft’

‘She’s right – SH’

‘That’s harsh – AG’

‘The truth hurts – SM’

‘Ok can you leave we don’t even know you! – JW’

‘Oh sorry I was the guy who was about to shoot you at the pool when you had the bomb – SM’

‘Wait what? – MW’

‘You work for Moriarty?! – SH’

‘Worked he’s dead so I’m unemployed – SM’

‘Dude I thought you had a job – CH’

‘Nah no one wants to hire an assassin – SM’

‘If I had a job I’d put in a good word for you – CH’

‘Thanks – SM’

‘You do have a job – Mycroft’

‘I do? – CH’

‘You’re supposed to be working with us – PA’

‘Fuck off Anderson no one wants you and Donovan here – SH’

‘Ok Sherlock stop you’re being mean! – AG’

‘Good I hope I am – SH’

‘Sherlock, Crystal you have left me no choice – Mycroft’

‘What did you do? – CH’

‘Something I’m going to regret – Mycroft’

‘Oh dear mother of god don’t do it! – SH’

‘Mycroft please no! – CH’

‘What’s going on? – Molly’

‘No idea – JW’

‘What’s this I hear about you two being rude to other people?! – VH’

‘You heard wrong – SH’

‘I can see what you have been saying! – VH’

‘I’m sorry – Mycroft’

‘You are dead to me – CH’

‘And me – SH’

‘Can someone explain? – GL’

‘I told on them – Mycroft’

‘Sherlock, Crystal you are both grounded! – VH’

‘What?! You can’t ground us online! – SH’

‘Mother please not in front of our friends! – CH’

‘Lol – AG’

‘I just did now both of you go to your rooms! – VH’

‘Mother Mycroft has had a girlfriend for the past 5 months – CH’


‘ O_O – Mycroft’

‘And she’s online now – SH’

‘Why?! – Mycroft’

‘If we go down we’re taking you with us – CH’

‘Mycroft Holmes how dare you not inform me of this! – VH’

‘I am actually so glad I logged on – GL’

‘Oh yeah – JW’

‘This is hilarious – PA’



‘Mother I’m sorry but I cannot stand that man! – CH’

‘Where are you young lady?! – VH’

‘On my way somewhere – CH’

‘Where? – SM’

‘You’ll see – CH’

‘I’m worried – Mycroft’

‘Yep – MW’

‘So Mycroft where is this girlfriend of yours? – VH’

‘Ehh here? – AG’

‘I do wish you would have told us this is no way to find out – VH’

‘Sorry mummy – Mycroft’

‘I am in love with Sherlock it’s the reason why I’m always around when he is – PA’

‘……….. – SH’

‘……….. – JW’

‘……….. – Mycroft’

‘……….. – GL’

‘……….. – VH’

‘……….. – MW’

‘……….. – SM’

‘……….. – Molly’

‘……….. – SD’

‘Ok then – MW’

‘Eww Anderson gross – SH’

‘I knew he had a thing for you – CH’

‘Crystal Holmes is awesome – GL’

‘What? – Mycroft’

‘Stay the hell away from my sister Graham! – SH’

‘Greg – JW’

‘Whatever – SH’

‘I am a twat – SD’

‘Tell us something we don’t know – SH’

‘Alright who hacked my laptop? – GL’

‘What do you mean? – MW’

‘It’s acting up – GL’

‘I am a huge prick and need to go on the naughty step – PA’

‘Go away Anderson – Mycroft’

‘Mycroft is terrible in bed – AG’

‘…………. – Mycroft’

‘Ouch – SH’

‘God damit who is hacking me?! – AG’

‘I’m going to go – VH’

‘I am utterly in love with Sherlock – MW’

‘MARY! – JW’

‘Ehh…. – SH’

‘That wasn’t me! – MW’

‘I am a pretty fairy – SM’

‘I knew it – CH’

‘For god sake whoever is hacking us stop! – SM’

‘Crys will you go out with me? – GL’

‘Haha very funny who’s hacking us? – SH’

‘I wasn’t hacked that time – GL’

‘…………. – Mycroft’

‘…………. – SH’

‘Sure – CH’


‘I must agree with Sherlock – Mycroft’

‘Did you seriously just ask her out online? – AG’

‘Yep – GL’

‘I worked my way up in the government by sleeping with men – Mycroft’

‘........... – SH’

‘………… - AG’

‘………… - JW’

‘I always knew one of my brothers were gay – CH’


‘I don’t know but whoever it is has a good sense of humour – Molly’

‘Sahidiwfhehidnwqf – PA’

‘Anderson? – JW’

‘He fell asleep on his keyboard – GL’

‘Or maybe someone sedated him by putting a mild sedative in his coffee – CH’

‘Did you drug him? – SD’

‘Maybe – CH’

‘So you’re at the station? – SM’

‘Maybe I am maybe I amen’t – CH’

‘I can see you behind the wall by the lift – GL’

‘Gee thanks for telling everyone – CH’

‘We’re still going out right? – GL’

‘If you draw a moustache and right douchbag on Anderson right now we’ll do more than go
out – CH’

‘I’m on it – GL’

‘He’s actually doing it – SD’

‘Who wouldn’t? Crys is hot – SM’

‘Aw thank you Sebby – CH’

‘How many people do I have to kill? – Mycroft’

‘Anderson, Lestrade, Sebastian and that’s all I can think of – SH’

‘I’ll get on it – Mycroft’

‘You’re sitting in the kitchen doing nothing that’s hardly getting on it – AG’

‘Really? You had to say that – Mycroft’

‘It’s true – AG’

‘Done – GL’

‘Pfft haha – CH’

‘It is actually funny – SD’

‘Send me a picture – SH’

‘Ok – CH’

‘Hahahaha – SH’

‘I know right? – CH’

‘Greg Mycroft has you on a list of people to kill – JW’

‘Worth it – GL’

‘It won’t be when I’m done with you – Mycroft’

‘Mycroft leave them alone – AG’

‘No – Mycroft’

‘Fine you can sleep on the couch tonight – AG’

‘There are at least 7 spare rooms – Mycroft’

‘I’ve locked them all and hidden the key – AG’

‘Damn you – Mycroft’

‘Sherlock go out with me? – Molly’

‘Ehh ok? – SH’

‘Ok who hacked me…….really? – Molly’

‘Aww – JW’

‘I knew he liked her – CH’

‘Now they’re dating – SM’

‘Just because I said I’d go out with her does not mean were automatically dating – SH’

‘It does now – AG’

‘Who is hacking everyone? – SM’

‘That would be moi – CH’

‘I knew it was you – Mycroft’

‘No you didn’t – CH’

‘Yes I did – Mycroft’

‘If you knew it was her why were you yelling and I quote ‘When I find out who is hacking
me I will make them wish they were dead’ – AG’

‘Do you hate me? – Mycroft’

‘No I just like embarrassing you – AG’

‘Crys did you sedate Donovan? – GL’

‘Maybe – CH’

‘Good sister – SH’

‘Are you drawing a unicorn on her head? – GL’

‘Yep – CH’

‘Lol – SM’

‘Did you miss me? – JM’

‘Who the hell is that? – JW’

‘Oh my god James May?! – CH’

‘What!? No I’m not James May! – JM’

‘Joel McHale? – CH’

‘No – JM’

‘Jeanette MacDonald? – CH’

‘You are so stupid – JM’

‘Hey don’t call my girlfriend stupid – GL’

‘You can’t call her your girlfriend you haven’t even been on a date – JW’

‘We’re on one now – GL’

‘You’re in a chatroom on your date? – Molly’

‘I do not want to miss any conflict – CH’

‘Agreed – GL’

‘Ok now whos the new guy pretending to be James May? – SM’

‘Sebastian you are just as stupid as Crys – JM’

‘James? – CH’

‘YES! – JM’

‘Oh my god James May is in our chatroom! – MW’

‘This is so cool – Molly’

‘I know right? – AG’


‘Your name is James thus you are James May – SM’

‘My name is James yes but May is not my last name! – JM’

‘Hmm is your last name Moran? – CH’

‘No that’s me – SM’

‘Close but no – JM’

‘Moriarty? – CH’

‘No wait yes! – JM’

‘You said no so you have to be James May – SM’

‘That’s it i give up – JM’

‘He left – SH’

‘Good – Mycroft’

‘Aw James May come back! – CH’

‘I’m not bored anymore goodbye – SH’

John whined when Sherlock took down the chatroom as did everyone else who was on it.

“Sherlock!” John whined.

“No John” Sherlock called from his room.

“But I was enjoying that!” John said.

“I don’t care” Sherlock replied. John huffed and turned back to his laptop before he smirked and set up his own chat one that Sherlock couldn’t enter.
I have no idea where the idea for this came from but oh well it happened
Add a Comment:
TheRedGarnet Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014
Who's CH?
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
One of my ocs probably should have mentioned that in the description :/
CookieMeg Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014
That was great!!! I laughed so hard I choked on my drink! Please write more!!
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
In-My-Remains Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

This was wonderful xD
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
MillietheKitty27 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014
Ha! That was awesome!
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
holster262 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Student
This was just epic :D
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! ^_^
holster262 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Student
Np :)
mzcookie1234567890 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014
' i worked my way up the government by sleeping with other men. ' i laughed so hard i rolled around on the floor laughing! plz write moar!!
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I will! I'm glad you liked it!!
Lokisservant Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hudsonwinchester Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Writer
OH MY ODIN!!! That was awesome!!! I'm crying and my sides hurt and I can't see straight!!! I cannot stop laughing!!! Please, please do this for every fandom your in. I know you've done a few, but they are just great. And keep this going. I love these!
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!!!! I've already done a Supernatural and Walking Dead one and i'm not in many fandoms so i might do another Sherlock or Walking Dead one if i get any ideas!!!!
Tabita001 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
LOL! It's fantastic! I love it <3
DixonVixon Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks! I wasnt so sure about posting it but i'm glad i did ^_^
Tabita001 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
You should do more like it.
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
March 16, 2014


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